Thursday, December 27, 2007

There's no turning back

The journey has been long and tiring. I've been on the road for so long
I'm tempted to stop, give it all up but I've almost made it to my destination it seems
Eventhough I'm weighed down by all sorts but I still must go on
I see where I'm going far ahead and I'm encouraged for it seems closer than it was yesterday

A lot has happened but I've grown and overcome
When I remember what I've been through in my past, I wonder how I ever made it this far

I know where I'm going and sometimes it seems like I may not get there, but strive I must
I can't turn back now, I've gone too far to give up on this trip

Where I'm going is far more beautiful than where I'm coming from
So on I go, towards my destination

I look not to the left nor the right, but straight ahead, my gaze is fixed
till I can almost touch my dreams

I'm not turning back. I'm going to forget my past and embrace my future....

I move on....................

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I hereby tender my apologisation letter

It's been 5months since I blogged last, for many reasons chief of which was that I lost the inspiration or compulsion to write; speak yes, write no.

I've discovered that sometimes we need to go through a renewal process or a refining period, whatever it is we call it but we need to go through a time when we rejuvenate, and I hope that's what has been happening to me. I didn't intentionally decide to stop blogging, let's just say I never got round to doing it

So I hereby announce that I have begun blogging again! Thanks to all those who asked and/ or sent encouraging mails, I will not keep silent any longer, so watch this space!

Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Today I...

Today I choose not to allow anything frazzle me
Today I decide to take full control of my thoughts and emotions

Today I choose to be who I ought to be
Today I decide to take the steps towards the picture I see

Today I decide to be more proactive
Today I choose to make my own future

Today I choose to be a better man
Today I decide to walk in integrity

No matter what happens around me, I will stand my ground
No matter what happens within me, I will not loose focus
No matter what anyone says, I will neither shift nor waiver

And even if the winds swirl and the sun scathes, I will not budge
Because Today I, promise to be true to me

Monday, May 14, 2007

What is love?

What's all the fuss about love anyway? and what is love really and truly?

Thinking about what love really means is an exercise in itself. How can I tell when I love someone? what proves my love to someone else? can my love be quantified?

Tina Turner believes love is nothing but a second hand emotion. Me thinks she saw the wrong side of love and that's why she feels that way (if she still does). Anyway, here are a few takes on what several people think love is;

1. Love is a feeling you feel when you feel differently about someone you've never really had feelings for but that person may have always felt strong feelings for you eventhough you never really felt the feeling (yeah right!)

2. Love is denial; to show I love you, I must deny myself of all I consider important just to make someone else happy. I haven't shown my love till I have absolutely denied myself

3. Love is in sex; you don't love me until you have given me your body.

In all my quest to understand what love is, I've discovered that the truest definition of love comes from the author of love Himself; "there is no greater love than a man should lay down His life for a friend" or even "love your neighbour as you would love yourself" or even better still "GOD IS LOVE"

Love is giving; unconditionally, freely and truly, expecting nothing in return. Love thinks of the needs of others ahead of self. Love assumes the best of all. Love forgives, love forgets, and now I know true love waits...

I know love when I see it;

The parents who struggle beyond all odds to ensure that their child gets the best of life; all that they never had

The guy who rushes to the airport to catch a glimpse of his sweetheart eventhough he knows he's going to be late for work and may get a query

The dog who follows his master everywhere and constantly stands by his side

The teacher who patiently ensures that the pupil understands the lesson

The friend who stays with another all through her grief, forgetting that she has challenges of her own as well

Love is you, love is me, we only need to realise the truth within us

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Down in the dumps

Come with me to a gig that's happening just around the corner. Yes I know you really can't hear any music but trust me, the party is in full swing already. I can almost hear your thoughts. You are wondering, who plans a party without any music? but I assure, there's music, it's just that you can't hear it.

As I open the door, you see only one person, hutched in a corner. Where's the party really at you ask? how come there's only one person here? and he doesn't even look like he's in party mode. Some party you say... and I answer, yes.. some party... a pity party.

We stare intently at the young man taking solace by the corner. He must obviously have been going through something; his countenance is downcast, he doesn't even look welcoming. We call out to him but he doesn't respond. Instead, he just turns his face away as though we weren't there.

We stand for a while and eventually, he acknowledges our presence. "Go away" he says. We move towards him and he shouts in a louder voice "Don't come near me, leave me alone". But we keep moving towards him. We squat beside him. Eventually, he opens up to us. His story is quite pityful, we can't help but feel pain for him for he has indeed gone through a lot.

But then, must he remain that way? Must he live within the confines of his past? Must his focus be on what wasn't instead of what could be? Must he continually dwell in his sorrows?

Now here's the real story.

You must have attended one these events before.. you know, those parties that we go through such pains to plan and organise. Party planner... ME!!! Caterer... ME!!! Bandstand... ME!!! Events decorator... ME!!! and finally, the Special guest of honour... ME!!! The beautiful thing about this party is that you have only one guest.. YOURSELF! and you don't need to spend a dime to get it going; just let your emotions run riot on you, negatively of course. You could just sit in a corner and probably sulk away. Of course there are many other options; you could cry away, daydream, fret or even throw a temper tantrum. Remember, whatever it is you do is designed to generate sympathy for yourself whenever you feel down and out.

And so I ask myself.. why must I allow my emotions dictate how I feel? must I subject my countenance to my feelings? I can master my emotions if only I realise and comprehend that. I can control how I feel and not yield to defeating thoughts. I can decide to be joyful even when it seems like the world is against me. I can be ME and not allow other people to determine who I am. I can conquer self limiting thoughts and stop self- defeating behaviour. But how?

I ask these question only... What/Who/Where is your anchor? What have you placed your hopes on? Who have you put your faith in? Where lies your expectations? What assurances do you have of a better tomorrow?

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Waiting for Godot...

This piece has absolutely nothing to do with a book of similar title, it’s just that I have ascribed the phrase “Waiting for Godot” to mean waiting endlessly for something that may never happen.

The day begins so well; everything seems to have fallen in place and just in time too. I’ve looked forward to this day when everything will be perfect for “it” to happen. I am standing on the balcony of my house, looking out at the world before me. Yes, everything really appears to be ready for “it”. The temperature is just right, the winds sublime, seeming to usher in waves of blessings. The sun isn’t as scorching as it usually is. I can hear the peaceful chirping of the birds in the trees singing harmoniously, in fact, they are playing my song! Heralding my success at accomplishing “it”. What a wonder. I can smell “it” in the air- Perfection! Aaah!!! How I have waited for this moment, in fact, waited all my life, and now “it” is here.

I say to myself “My plans will now fall in place, my dreams will see the light of day, finally, I will accomplish “it”, what I’ve always wanted to do will now become reality”.

I rush out into the day, I must bring “it” to pass, I must do all I can to make sure “it” works, everything is just right, isn’t it? I check again just to be sure, yes… everything is fine. The sun is still shining, the winds are mild, and the air is cool. So I rush ahead. It appears everyone and everything knows I’m going to accomplish “it” today because everything is just falling in place. I’m happy, after waiting this long, certainly “it” must be accomplished today.

And then, just at the time when “it” is supposed to happen, “it” doesn’t.

The wind has changed, becoming wild, swirling fiercely all about, taking everything in it’s presence away, and upturning all in it’s path. The sun runs away seeking cover behind the clouds which have gathered fiercely to support the wind in its fight against the accomplishment of “it”. And my ensemble of singing birds? They’ve disappeared! Not even one is left behind to lift my soul and persuade me to go on. You ask “persuade me to go on?” yes, persuade me to go on for I have given up. After waiting for “it” for so long, now nothing!

I’m crestfallen. I’d been so expectant, waiting for “it” to happen. It is the end of another cycle and again, I haven’t accomplished “it”.

“If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done”- The Bible

The reality of life is that there are no perfect conditions/ situations/ environments/ circumstances etc. “Waiting for Godot” as I like to call it is the best killer of so many dreams. Also known as procrastinating; waiting till everything seems right before taking a step has killed dreams before they even saw the light of day. The truth is that, the sun will not always shine, neither will the wind always blow. Things will not always turn out the way we expect every time, so we need to be prepared to act irrespective of our external environment.

If we think about it real hard, we'll realise that we can create our own environment. You can determine your weather! So get up and go right now!!!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Inside looking out

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it's in everyone."
Nelson Mandela

Do you need to be convinced of your status as a unique person? Well, I know I am special and no one can convince me otherwise. On the face of this earth are over six million special, unique individuals. Science tells me, and God assures me of this fact; no two people in the world are exactly alike. Actually, you are not and will never be like anyone that has existed and will exist on this earth. Thinking about this should make you understand how special you are.

I got thinking to myself once, "What would the world be like if everyone was exactly like me? Would it be any fun?" Sadly, I doubt it, there would be no diversity, no uniqueness, nothing special about everybosy else. Th plain truth is that we really all can't be alike! No two finger prints are alike, even retinas I hear are unique to the individual. Waoh! thinking about that amazes me, that means of all the people who have ever walked on earth and who will ever walk on this earth, no one is quite like me.

Ever heard the soundtrack of the film "Crooklyn" by Spike Lee? "People make the world go round"? Our differences are what unite us! You are never really attracted to a person who seems exactly like you or even remotely like you. Think about it, your partner, spouse, even good friends are never really like you. Yes, you share some similarities but if you were exactly alike, you may never really mix.

We all have special gifts, albeit some more than others, to contribute to the world, and isn't it funny how what I consider special to me might be despised by even me? Sometines we tend to look down on our special empowerments because it doesn't really seem so "fantastic" and you know why you feel that way? It's because you are so used to yourself. Take a good look at yourself and celebrate because no one has the mix of gifts that you have.

We all need each other and being independent at all times will not always pay, rather, we need to be interdependent; realising that we can all be relevant to each other because no man is an island.

Celebrate yourself, know that you are unique and don't hold back on your gifts and talents! Some one needs you! I know I am special and I will use my special abilities to make a difference wherever and whenever I can... what about you?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Feel like you've missed the bus?

Life is like a journey and we are all headed somewhere at every point in time. Several buses, different bus stops, different bus routes. The journey starts the moment you are born and ends the moment you leave this world. At some point, whether you realise it or not, you get off at a bus stop and take another bus to connect you with your final destination. If you are a careful traveler, you'd most likely have planned your journey, so you know exactly where to disembark and take another bus to continue your journey to your final destination. If not, your guess is as good as mine.

Now I'm sure you are wondering "What bus is he talking about?, What journey? What bus stops?" This is what I mean; I believe strongly that every person on earth has a purpose to fulifll and knowing this purpose determines what kind of bus you get into. No two people have exactly the same destiny. We are all designed to fulfill different missions.

We all have expectations for our lives, our definition of success; where we want to be, what we want to achieve, our success measures... how far or close are you from your dreams? Are you where you expect to be? or where you'd planned to be? does it seem like the whole world has run along and left you behind? Do you feel like you are at the bottom of the rung in terms of life success? Do you feel like you are on the wrong bus?

Sometimes when we feel this way, it is usually because we compare themselves with our peers or other people who have "arrived". However, it's pertinent to understand that we all have different assignments on earth, and to fulfill our assignments, we must have certain experiences. Any wonder why it took you so long to graduate? get that first job? find your spouse? succeed on that business?

You sit and wonder.. why does "A" have everything going well for herself, and I can barely keep my head up? how come "B" has got the perfect job when I even had better grades than he did? I must be a failure because "C" has everything made and I can barely keep my head up. Thinking this way will never help. We need to constantly keep our eyes on what we know God has planned for us, and not focus on others, using them as our yardstick of personal success. Yes, we are all on a journey but nothing says we have the same arrival time.
Some of us tend to think "I could have been a success but I never had the opportunity. I wasn't born into the right family or I didn't have the money to go to the best school". But when we measure success by the extent we are using what we've received, it eliminates that frustration..... Fred Smith

My level of success is not based on another's yardstick but on the measure God has set for me. What am I here for? what am I supposed to do with my life?

Find your destination, alight at the relevant bus stops, and fight the temptation to get down at someone else's stop. Don't compete with others in the journey of life, understand what you have to do on earth and then compete with yourself. Life is lived only once, don't live someone else's script.....

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Starting Afresh....

Whilst doing some work on my computer, power went out. Unfortunately, my UPS had some problems and I had forgotten to save, so I lost the document. You can imagine how I felt; after so much brain work, taking so much pain to ensure I was producing good quality work, then I lose it because I didn’t save. Of course I had to begin again, and this time, saving every five minutes.

Though I wasn’t able to reproduce exactly what I’d done before the power went out, I had the opportunity to start afresh. This new lease on life meant that I could even produce far better than I’d done before. Was there any point assuming that what I was working on before was the best I could churn out? Why, no way!

This experience reminds me of how we never really get the opportunity to right the wrongs in our past. Once you’ve done it, you’ve done it, and it’s recorded in history. You can make amends but you can never change the situation to the exact way it was before. Most often, a lot of people concentrate on changing the past when the future beckons, fresh and untouched, waiting to be filled with even better memories. Looking back always without focusing ahead never got anyone far in life.

We look back at the past and wonder why we ever did some of the things that we did. We wonder why we “messed up” and went against all conventions to fulfil our hearts desires, even though we knew in our deepest parts that we were wrong. You ask yourself “what exactly was I thinking? How could I have been so dumb to have ever done this/ said that?” You fill your mind with thoughts of what should have happened instead of what did happen.

At those times, do you sometimes just wish you could start life all over again? Get another chance to rectify the things you aren’t quite proud of in your past; failures, indiscretions; begin anew? wipe the slate clean and get rid of all the unpleasant memories et al that you may have gathered along your walk through life? erase all the old unpleasant memories that lurk deep within your soul? I know I sometimes do but I’m learning to realise that it’s just a waste of time. The reality of life is that we can never really bring the past back in turn. Once we've experienced a certain time, we can't go back again to relive it. Once 17.59, 20th January 2007 is over, it's over! You will never experience that time frame again; it's saved in the annals of history, etched in your sub conscious.

But then we still wish, don’t we? And why might that be? Probably because of the way we are “wired”. Comfort thinking I call it; revelling in your thoughts; wishing, hoping, maybe even justifying the action, even though you know that doesn’t really change anything. You focus on the past and nothing comes out of it. Whilst this may not be really bad, focusing solely on the past is not good at all.

It’s important to look back once in a while to chart a better course for the future. Retracing our steps helps us prepare for tomorrow but we must never remain in our past because it can become the greatest enemy of your future.

Tomorrow is waiting; untouched, unclaimed. Move ahead, make amends where necessary, learn the lessons from the past and make these the building blocks of your tomorrow. Realise that you really can start afresh; not by reclaiming the lost moments but by using the experience to build a better future.