Down in the dumps

Come with me to a gig that's happening just around the corner. Yes I know you really can't hear any music but trust me, the party is in full swing already. I can almost hear your thoughts. You are wondering, who plans a party without any music? but I assure, there's music, it's just that you can't hear it.

As I open the door, you see only one person, hutched in a corner. Where's the party really at you ask? how come there's only one person here? and he doesn't even look like he's in party mode. Some party you say... and I answer, yes.. some party... a pity party.

We stare intently at the young man taking solace by the corner. He must obviously have been going through something; his countenance is downcast, he doesn't even look welcoming. We call out to him but he doesn't respond. Instead, he just turns his face away as though we weren't there.

We stand for a while and eventually, he acknowledges our presence. "Go away" he says. We move towards him and he shouts in a louder voice "Don't come near me, leave me alone". But we keep moving towards him. We squat beside him. Eventually, he opens up to us. His story is quite pityful, we can't help but feel pain for him for he has indeed gone through a lot.

But then, must he remain that way? Must he live within the confines of his past? Must his focus be on what wasn't instead of what could be? Must he continually dwell in his sorrows?

Now here's the real story.

You must have attended one these events before.. you know, those parties that we go through such pains to plan and organise. Party planner... ME!!! Caterer... ME!!! Bandstand... ME!!! Events decorator... ME!!! and finally, the Special guest of honour... ME!!! The beautiful thing about this party is that you have only one guest.. YOURSELF! and you don't need to spend a dime to get it going; just let your emotions run riot on you, negatively of course. You could just sit in a corner and probably sulk away. Of course there are many other options; you could cry away, daydream, fret or even throw a temper tantrum. Remember, whatever it is you do is designed to generate sympathy for yourself whenever you feel down and out.

And so I ask myself.. why must I allow my emotions dictate how I feel? must I subject my countenance to my feelings? I can master my emotions if only I realise and comprehend that. I can control how I feel and not yield to defeating thoughts. I can decide to be joyful even when it seems like the world is against me. I can be ME and not allow other people to determine who I am. I can conquer self limiting thoughts and stop self- defeating behaviour. But how?

I ask these question only... What/Who/Where is your anchor? What have you placed your hopes on? Who have you put your faith in? Where lies your expectations? What assurances do you have of a better tomorrow?

Waiting for Godot...

This piece has absolutely nothing to do with a book of similar title, it’s just that I have ascribed the phrase “Waiting for Godot” to mean waiting endlessly for something that may never happen.

The day begins so well; everything seems to have fallen in place and just in time too. I’ve looked forward to this day when everything will be perfect for “it” to happen. I am standing on the balcony of my house, looking out at the world before me. Yes, everything really appears to be ready for “it”. The temperature is just right, the winds sublime, seeming to usher in waves of blessings. The sun isn’t as scorching as it usually is. I can hear the peaceful chirping of the birds in the trees singing harmoniously, in fact, they are playing my song! Heralding my success at accomplishing “it”. What a wonder. I can smell “it” in the air- Perfection! Aaah!!! How I have waited for this moment, in fact, waited all my life, and now “it” is here.

I say to myself “My plans will now fall in place, my dreams will see the light of day, finally, I will accomplish “it”, what I’ve always wanted to do will now become reality”.

I rush out into the day, I must bring “it” to pass, I must do all I can to make sure “it” works, everything is just right, isn’t it? I check again just to be sure, yes… everything is fine. The sun is still shining, the winds are mild, and the air is cool. So I rush ahead. It appears everyone and everything knows I’m going to accomplish “it” today because everything is just falling in place. I’m happy, after waiting this long, certainly “it” must be accomplished today.

And then, just at the time when “it” is supposed to happen, “it” doesn’t.

The wind has changed, becoming wild, swirling fiercely all about, taking everything in it’s presence away, and upturning all in it’s path. The sun runs away seeking cover behind the clouds which have gathered fiercely to support the wind in its fight against the accomplishment of “it”. And my ensemble of singing birds? They’ve disappeared! Not even one is left behind to lift my soul and persuade me to go on. You ask “persuade me to go on?” yes, persuade me to go on for I have given up. After waiting for “it” for so long, now nothing!

I’m crestfallen. I’d been so expectant, waiting for “it” to happen. It is the end of another cycle and again, I haven’t accomplished “it”.

“If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done”- The Bible

The reality of life is that there are no perfect conditions/ situations/ environments/ circumstances etc. “Waiting for Godot” as I like to call it is the best killer of so many dreams. Also known as procrastinating; waiting till everything seems right before taking a step has killed dreams before they even saw the light of day. The truth is that, the sun will not always shine, neither will the wind always blow. Things will not always turn out the way we expect every time, so we need to be prepared to act irrespective of our external environment.

If we think about it real hard, we'll realise that we can create our own environment. You can determine your weather! So get up and go right now!!!