Life is in the small things...

I remember attending the Stephen Covey programme early this year. It was a great experience for me, considering that I had read his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and listened to the audio of "First Things First", and gained quite a bit from it. If there was anything I remember from the event, it's that everyone can make a difference somehow, somewhere and in some way.

You know how we all dream of changing the world? Well, yes you can. A lot of times, we think, "I don't have the kind of money I need to do something great" or "I don't have the time" but that is really a false view. It's not necessarily the big things that make all the difference, or the high positions, or the fat bank account, the small things of life can actually make a big difference.

A Danish fable tells the story of a little boy who prevented a massive flood just because he stuck his hand through a crack in the dyke. This greatly reduced the influx of water flowing through the crack till help came. He might as well have thought to himself "Oh, the dam is going to cave in and the river will flood through, I better escape before I'm swallowed up by the water" but he chose to do something about it, and his little act saved the whole city. He could have looked at the situation and felt he couldn't do anything major in such a serious event, but he chose to do the little he could.

Wherever you are, no matter your level, you can make a difference, all that matters is that you at least try. Do something, anything, to make life better for someone else. It could be your smile, your time, your resources. Give something back to the world, and I can assure you that your little bit will make a great difference.

And whatever you do, encourage others to do as well, teach people, empower people, and the world will be a better place! Let's change the world; You & I.

Life is all about relationships.

The ties that bind... blood is thicker than water... two are better than one, even three is far better, the reward for their labour is immeasurable... together we stand, divided we fall... all wonderful quotes reflecting the power in relationships.

Where would you be without the people in your life? I'm thinking about all the relationships the average person has got going... parents, siblings, relatives, school buddies, friends, co- workers, business partners etc, and the list goes on... what impact have they had in your life? ditto, what impact have you had in their lives? quite a thought isn't it?

Everyone one of us has a purpose and we need each other to achieve them. We've been called to live an "interdependent life" not an independent or dependent one. I need you, you need me, and that's what makes the world go round. Building bridges must be a lifestyle. We must all learn to constantly build our reserve of goodwill in others, no matter their station in life because anyone can be relevant to you at any time. You may not need a another person's help right now but many years down the line, you would wish you had made a connection of some sort; one advice- make constant deposits into as many emotional bank accounts as you can so you will always be in surplus.

I can think of many times when I got stuck in a rut and it was an old friend/ acquaintance who bailed me out. I particularly remember once when I was going to Kano city on some small business from Potiskum in Yobe and I got there quite late. Didn't know anyone and didn't have anywhere to sleep, then along comes this guy who obviously knows me and I can't remember him from Adam! Apparently, I'd met him during one of my "Ajala travels" to Gombe city. To cut a long story short, he was my deliverer for the day. I spent the night at his house and made it to the market bright and early the next day. Sadly, I've lost touch with him...

It really doesn't cost much to build relationships, me thinks it takes just a listening ear, an available heart and a longing to see the good in all. Yes, we get bitten once in a while but we shouldn't allow those times to dissuade us from building bridges with others. No one is perfect so never expect any human to be the all in all for you... look upwards for that.

And you know what? the greatest relationship you can ever have is with your creator. He is faithful to the core; He will never dissapoint you; He'll always exceed your expectations and He'll always be there for you come rain, come shine. Keeping this particular relationship alive is of utmost importance. You must constantly keep the fire burning communing with God in your own way for it is the strength you draw from Him that'll keep you going, empowering you to meet your needs and those of others.

Life is really all about relationships... yours and mine, his and hers, theirs and ours.

I don't have a choice

How many times have you ever said this to yourself or to someone else and actually believed it?

Many times when we are faced with challenges, we convince ourselves (overtly or covertly) that we don't have a choice, so we go with the easy way out. You cheat a bit, you tell a "white lie", you take a quick decision, and then you convince yourself there was no other way out.

In reality however, life always offers us many choices but the truth is we always want the choices that favour us. If we are faced with unfavourable choices, we immediately convince ourselves that we never even had a choice in the first place!

I think it has to do with being very honest with ones' self. Will I go the easy way and say to myself that I never had a choice or will I go the hard and unpopular way and admit that choices still exist and then choose to make that hard choice?

It's up to you to be true to yourself and make informed decisions every time!

Guess who’s waiting at the end of you?

It’s taken me this long to post my thoughts on my blog for many reasons; work, not deciding on exactly what I wanted to write about etc. Even now, I just made up my mind to start typing and see where the keystrokes lead me, so here goes.

I’ve faced some challenges recently and as of this morning, I was convinced I was going to have a major heart attack. I felt like I was about to implode; so many thoughts going on in my head and no exit points to let it all out.

Then I thought to myself; tomorrow is another day and when it comes, the challenges of today will seem like child’s play. At times like this, what works best for me is to sing and just forget about myself and as I sing new songs I’d never sang before, God truly takes away the burdens, and I’m convinced there’s a God

I’m not sure if I’m alone in this but sometimes, after I’ve been through whatever has been thrown at me (and I’ve passively or actively accepted), I just feel like giving up and ending it all (and I’m not been dramatic). Then I wonder, what excuse or right do I have to do that to my generation, my God, and myself?

We all constantly need to remind ourselves that we are great objet d’art in progress. To be the perfect sculptings, we need to go through the fire and the waters, the winds and the sands. It is only through these testings that we can discover our true selves and become who we were created to be. Giving up will never be the answer to facing challenges.

There is absolutely no challenge that you can’t surmount as long as you look upwards, inwards and around you for the greater power that can solve all problems. Just when you’ve come to the end of your tether, you’ll discover God waiting to lead you on, hope is alive and faith is real.

The Awakening

Welcome to my blog.

I hope you actually read the intro cos it came straight from my heart! Anyway, I got this mail a while back and decided I'd use it to launch my blog. It mirrors quite a bit of what I want to achieve through this medium; it's quite deep and very liberating I must add, and I assure you, your soul shall be uplifted!

THE AWAKENING

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

-- Author Unknown