Down in the dumps

Come with me to a gig that's happening just around the corner. Yes I know you really can't hear any music but trust me, the party is in full swing already. I can almost hear your thoughts. You are wondering, who plans a party without any music? but I assure, there's music, it's just that you can't hear it.

As I open the door, you see only one person, hutched in a corner. Where's the party really at you ask? how come there's only one person here? and he doesn't even look like he's in party mode. Some party you say... and I answer, yes.. some party... a pity party.

We stare intently at the young man taking solace by the corner. He must obviously have been going through something; his countenance is downcast, he doesn't even look welcoming. We call out to him but he doesn't respond. Instead, he just turns his face away as though we weren't there.

We stand for a while and eventually, he acknowledges our presence. "Go away" he says. We move towards him and he shouts in a louder voice "Don't come near me, leave me alone". But we keep moving towards him. We squat beside him. Eventually, he opens up to us. His story is quite pityful, we can't help but feel pain for him for he has indeed gone through a lot.

But then, must he remain that way? Must he live within the confines of his past? Must his focus be on what wasn't instead of what could be? Must he continually dwell in his sorrows?

Now here's the real story.

You must have attended one these events before.. you know, those parties that we go through such pains to plan and organise. Party planner... ME!!! Caterer... ME!!! Bandstand... ME!!! Events decorator... ME!!! and finally, the Special guest of honour... ME!!! The beautiful thing about this party is that you have only one guest.. YOURSELF! and you don't need to spend a dime to get it going; just let your emotions run riot on you, negatively of course. You could just sit in a corner and probably sulk away. Of course there are many other options; you could cry away, daydream, fret or even throw a temper tantrum. Remember, whatever it is you do is designed to generate sympathy for yourself whenever you feel down and out.

And so I ask myself.. why must I allow my emotions dictate how I feel? must I subject my countenance to my feelings? I can master my emotions if only I realise and comprehend that. I can control how I feel and not yield to defeating thoughts. I can decide to be joyful even when it seems like the world is against me. I can be ME and not allow other people to determine who I am. I can conquer self limiting thoughts and stop self- defeating behaviour. But how?

I ask these question only... What/Who/Where is your anchor? What have you placed your hopes on? Who have you put your faith in? Where lies your expectations? What assurances do you have of a better tomorrow?